An orchid left to wither

He had me for a year, planting seeds of many fears, teasing ends that felt so near, to leave me drowned in my own tears. Some nights I screamed in silence, the room was flooded but I fought for balance, praying to God to give me some guidance, to revive the flames of a dying romance. My heart was an orchid left to wither, wanted a connection but got a tether. Doubts and insecurities made my sight red, and gave pain to my chest that’s hard to forget. I craved stability so much but my floor got weak, tiles broke with every word, so I shortened my speech. Kisses were rationed, even on my cheeks. The loss was obvious, more so every week. “Maybe if I contain myself to not bloom my emotions, fuck my very feelings, crying is not an option. Fake a smile and disconnect my core, to drown on the inside, that way he won’t get bored.” Is it fair to ask, what have I done to myself? Chasing love never ends up well. What’s felt is given, what’s not is faked… How long had I to endure ’til the other with another got naked? I’m recycling my tears to water my roots, moving through the cracks in a soil that’ll get me fruits. My leaves point to the sky searching for the sun, getting light for myself, there’s nothing to be undone.