Forgive myself

It’s hard to pretend being cold despite all the overthinking, even more to pretend I don’t care despite all those nights drinking. A glass of wine, pen and paper to start, verses and rhymes trying to put those feelings apart. I can’t have more fuel, every now and then I think, but then it hits again so I return to ink. It’s not linear, it’s more like a roller coaster. I’m tired of this, could it go any faster? And the thing is, I don’t want to pretend. I need to forgive myself and this chapter end. But how can you end a chapter you felt so alive within yourself? By finding the strength to finally remove that book from the shelf. Remember the joy of the past, but keeping the feet on the present. One cannot forget all the pain but can make every day more pleasant. Fractures don’t heal instantly, moving on takes time. Reclaim one’s emotions to live and love with pride.